I have a confession to make. A couple of years ago, I was a professional people-pleaser, and I was a damn good one at that. I made it my life’s mission to shrink my own individuality in order to satisfy other people. I would never call people out on bullshit, I would agree with people when I believed them to be completely wrong, and I would never express my authentic views if I felt like it would make someone dislike me. This ultimately lead to a deep feeling of inadequacy within myself, as I felt like some kind of servant to other people’s ego. This issue also prevented me from doing the things that I wanted to do with my life, in the fear that I would be judged and ridiculed for doing so. I’d like to share a few realisations that I came to along my journey that helped me stop giving a F*CK about what people think of me!
You will be judged regardless
The sad truth is, people are going to judge you whatever you do. If you go after what you want in life, people will judge you for being a ‘dreamer’ or being unrealistic, likewise if you just accept mediocrity due to a fear of being judged, people will judge you for not being driven and determined enough! Therefore, you may as well just say and do exactly what you want at all time’s, because at least it will make YOU happy. Somebody else’s opinion of you has absolutely no bearing on whether you succeed at something, but it WILL if you let it get inside your own head.
Having the mental toughness to block out the cynical haters is imperative, because their judgments of you will often be as a result of their own fears and insecurities. Unfortunately, when people see others stepping out of their comfort zone and going after what they want, it terrifies them because they’ve never had the courage to do so themselves. Recognise this, and just keep doing you. You can’t please everyone, nor should you desire to.
You inspire others to be themselves
Vulnerability is a word that has negative connotations attached to it, but the truth is, vulnerability is one of the most courageous things one can show. The ability to announce your truth without the fear of other people’s opinions of you is an incredibly powerful thing. Announcing your fears, insecurities and anxiety’s in such a away free’s and liberates you. When you begin to embrace your true self, the energy you radiate is infectious. People will become inspired to let go of their own fears, and become their own true, authentic self too. When you say and do exactly what you want, noticing the same qualities in others gives you a deep sense of pride for them. Whilst others sit and judge, you applaud them. They too have had the courage to step out and be themselves unapologetically, and that is an incredible thing. When you let go of fear, you immediately move into a place of love and compassion.
“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others” – Marianne Williamson
You attract the right people into your life
When I used to hide and shrink my true self, I often attracted similar people. People who were afraid to be who they really were and therefore created a different persona in order to try and impress others. However, when I started to embrace my true self, it was incredible how many like-minded, awesome people started to enter my life. You develop deeper, more meaningful connections with people, because you don’t have anything to hide, and are willing to put yourself in a position of vulnerability if it means expressing exactly who you are and how you feel. The right people will notice this, and deeply respect you for it.
So, fully embrace who you are and stop caring what other people think of you. Not everyone will like you, but that’s cool. You’ll be happier, more successful and will create a closer support network of individuals who truly respect and care for you. Not a fake, counterfeit version of you, but the REAL you.
“Only the truth of who you are, if realised, will set you free.” – Eckhart Tolle