All too often, I hear people moan, complain and generally aggravate other people with their pessimism about how things never work out for them, how they never get what they want, how no one likes them etc etc. This hopelessness and lack of optimism ends up creating a vicious, cyclical process, where the person continues to see evidence of this in every day life, thus making these irrational beliefs grow stronger and stronger. I would like to present a few different ways that you can change the way you perceive your thoughts, feelings and beliefs. This can result in a huge mindset shift, give you a sense of inner peace and ultimately, mastery of your mind!
The Universe is a Mirror
The universe is a perfect reflection of how you believe it to be, and how you feel. If someone is loving, positive and happy, that’s exactly what will manifest in their reality. In contrast, if someone is negative, self loathing and full of hatred, they too will attract predominantly this energy into their life. This then, makes it fundamentally important to remove any beliefs or ideologies that are stopping you from being in a constant state of inner peace with yourself. Instead of allowing you to live a fulfilling life, these beliefs only serve to attract more negativity, and repeat the cycle of pain.
Becoming detached from your mind’s negative monologue
“The best thing about the past is that it’s over”
The mind is an incredibly complicated thing, and it loves nothing more than to place judgments on every part of reality. Recognise that the only thing that actually exists is the present moment, and every single event that ever happened, also occurred in the present moment. So, the past is purely a construction of the mind, therefore does not have to be a part of your reality any longer if you don’t allow it to be. Something that has helped me is to maintain the understanding that I am not my mind, nor do I need to be identified with it, or get my sense of self from it. Becoming the ‘silent watcher’ of your thoughts and feelings allows you to recognise negativity as merely an inevitable process of your mind, and you have the choice in whether you let it become part of your identity. Note: Meditation helps tremendously with this!
Everything Originates From The Mind
Recognise that no single event that ever happens is good or bad until our minds place an opinion and label on it. In order to achieve a sense of peace with every situation, we have the choice how we view to see it. We must be able to forge a positive meaning from every event that happens to us in the external world, whether it appears to be positive or negative. This is easier said than done, however forging meaning from the most negative circumstances can give you a sense of purpose, identity and most importantly – hope. After all, there have been many people for whom limitation, failure, loss, illness, or pain in whatever form turned out to be their greatest teacher. It gave them depth, humility and compassion. It grounded them, allowed them to lose attachment to their ego and gave them a whole new meaning for living. All these positive outcomes have been the result of initial perceived heartache. Behind all negativity is a deeper concealed lesson. If you can find this, you will immediately bring more peace into your life. Nietzsche once said ‘He who has a why to live, can bear almost any how’ meaning that if someone has a higher purpose and forges meaning in everything that happens to them, they can put up with almost anything in the external world.
Stop letting your beliefs get in the way of your desires
If someone wants something to materialise in their own life, I’m a big believer that they should unapologetically let other people know about it. ‘Announcing your truth’ in such a way will not only make people aware of exactly what you want, thus opening up endless opportunities for you, but in doing so, it liberates others to do the same, which is a wonderful thing. However, it doesn’t just stop there. People often announce what they want, but don’t actually believe that they can attain it, due to limiting beliefs of who they are, and their perception of the world around them.
For example, a girl might say that she just wants to meet a ‘nice guy’, but she still holds onto the belief that ‘all men are assholes’ perhaps due to prior experiences (I apologise on behalf of my gender for this!). This limiting belief is going to make it impossible for her to find this ‘nice guy’ that she desires, because he currently doesn’t exist according to her reality. Opportunities with ‘nice guys’ will present themselves to her, but as long as she still subconsciously believes that ‘all men are assholes’ she will be blind to it. Similarly, a guy may hold the belief ‘this girl is out of my league’. He may go as far as to talk to her, but it will never go anywhere until he internalises the belief that he IS GOOD ENOUGH for her.
There’s a beautiful quote to summarise what I’m saying here ‘We don’t attract what we want, we attract how we feel’. The truth is, you will never see any desire manifested into your reality without first believing wholeheartedly that it can, and will manifest. To do this, we have to irradicate these limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is self explanatory – its an irrational belief, whether we’re conscious of it or not, that holds us back in some area of life. For example, if someone holds a limiting belief that failure is a bad thing, then that’s going to dramatically impact their ability to take risks, as it will immediately be met with a lot of anxiety, preventing them from taking any action to get what they desire.
How to remove a limiting belief?
- Becoming conscious of your limiting belief is the first step, but it’s not over yet. The limiting belief may be something that has been drilled into you for many years, therefore it still very much exists subconsciously.
- The next step is to recognise instances where your belief has been proven to be untrue. This introduces the possibility that there are flaws to your belief.
- How has this belief worked against me in the past? Experiencing and reliving the pain associated with the belief will give you the desire to take action and get rid of it for good!
- Understand what was the trigger point for the limiting belief – what is the root of the issue – What was the external event that occurred to make you feel this way.
- Brainstorm alternative possibilities for the event that created the limiting belief. For example, if you believe that ‘certain girls are out of my league’ because of a time when an attractive girl wasn’t interested in you, think of other reasons why she may not have been interested in you that day. Perhaps she was in a bad mood, perhaps she had a boyfriend, perhaps she had recently received some awful news etc. This gives you the ability to observe the scenario more objectively, and realise that there are a multitude of other possibilities as to why the event occurred.
“For every experience that we go through that results in a belief, we are adding new clay or defining details to make a clay person, and then we attach ourselves to this clay person, assuming that it is us. We forget that we were the hands that created the clay person.” – Morty Lefkoe
Suggested books on the themes discussed in this article:
Eckhart Tolle – The Power of Now
Letting Go – David R. Hawkins